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Mettenberger Correct, he is No Tebow

Jul 19, 2013 -- 12:37pm

By: T. Miller (@jortstorture)

SEC Media Days are over and all I can really take away from it is that Zach Mettenberger is kind of a d-bag. He had this to say to the 12,000+ media members gathered in Hoover, Alabama, Wednesday: "It's not like I'm Tim Tebow and have terrible mechanics."

It's Friday now, which means it's a perfect time to come out with some awesome comebacks. If you're like me, you never come up with them on the spot, either. So, here you go, Zach. TAKE THAT!"It's not like you're Tim Tebow and successfully completed your fist semester of college without getting kicked out of school."

"It's not like you're Tim Tebow, who, like the rest of us, would never stop in Valdosta for any reason."

"It's not like you're Tim Tebow. When you Google "Tebow bar" you learn about Aaron Hernandez. When you Google "Mettenberger bar" you learn about that time you molested a judge's niece."

"It's not like you're Tim Tebow and are not banned from entering any county or municipality you please."

"It's not like you're Tim Tebow and won the Heisman as a sophomore -- at Butler Community College.""It's not like you're Tim Tebow. He never even lost to Clemson in the Peach Bowl."

"It's not like you're Cam Newton, either, because he never pleaded guilty to anything."

"It' not even like you're Aaron Murray, even though a lot of people used to think you might be as good or better.""LSU lost to Florida last year, so it's not actually like you're even Jeff Driskel."

"It's not like your mechanics are going to matter on Oct. 12, after Dominique Easley plants you a handful of times."

To read this blog in its entirety, click here: http://www.jeanshortstorture.com/zach-mettenberger-correct-not-like-hes-tim-tebow/

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